Scarred Soul
by precibus
Summary: *Post-S4E3 AU* After the concert, Anna is found and accepts Mrs. Hughes' offers to call in Mr. Bates and Dr. Clarkson
1. Chapter 1

As Dame Nellie left the hall, Bates stood up and stretched –unused to sitting for so long, little daggers of pain had begun to shoot through his bad knee.

"Anna's not back yet," he said to Mrs. Hughes as the servants filed quickly out of the hall and back downstairs. "Do you think she's alright?" He was starting to worry about her: it was quite unlike her to be so ill she needed a headache powder, and the fact that she had been gone for well over half an hour had him even more uneasy. What if she had been in such pain that she had fainted? What if there was something _more_ wrong with her than just a headache?

Another thought lingered in a dark corner of his mind: was she really ill, or feigning illness to get some time away from him? What if she was still angry at him snapping at her in front of the staff like she was some recalcitrant child? He hadn't meant to shout at her like that –he never had before and he swore to himself he never would again. It was only worry about Mrs. Patmore that had done it –that, and the anxiety that welled up inside him when he saw Anna laughing and joking with Mr. Green. It hurt too much to see Anna with a man like that, a man more worthy of her... and shallow as it sounded, watching her smile at Green made him start worrying that Anna regretted tying herself to him. Compared to Green, he was just a sad old cripple, and he worried that seeing Green would make Anna start to realise that she had settled for far less than she deserved... that fear and anger at himself had come out instead as anger directed at Anna. He would apologise to her now, even before they left for the cottage, and maybe they could make up properly once they were alone together –that is, if Anna wanted to. Maybe Anna wouldn't want to, could even now be reconsidering her marriage vows...

"I'm sure she's alright," Mrs. Hughes reassured him, breaking into the valet's gloomy reverie. "Maybe she lay down for a bit in my sitting room to ease her headache."

There was no sign of Anna in the servants' hall, though the door to the boot room was open, revealing a most unusual mess: boots and shoes lying askew on the floor instead of on the shelves, and even the table had been pulled away from the centre of the room –what on earth had the boot boy been playing at? Bates thought angrily as he realised he would have to re-black His Lordship's shoes the next day –it was no good trusting them to Harry's clumsy fingers.

Walking past the open door –he wouldn't like to be in Harry's shoes when Thomas or Mr. Carson saw that unholy mess –he sat down at the table waiting for Anna to come in –maybe she had gone up to wait for Lady Mary in her room? The other staff in the room all gave him a wide berth, wary of approaching him after seeing him lose his temper with Anna over something so trivial as a game.

_I'm sorry, alright?_ Bates wanted to shout after the third time he caught a maid giving him a furtive look and hastily looking away when he looked at her. The faster Lord Grantham rang so he could get him ready for bed and leave for home with Anna, the better.

He hadn't been seated for more than a few minutes when Mrs. Hughes appeared, looking more flustered than he had ever seen her.

"Mr. Bates?" the housekeeper called, looking round the servants' hall with eyes that seemed almost unseeing.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes?" he asked, hastily pushing back his chair. "Is Anna in your sitting room?"

"Anna," his wife's name came out almost as a cry from Mrs. Hughes' lips. "Could you fetch Dr. Clarkson please?"

"Is Anna ill?" he asked, but Mrs. Hughes had already hurried away.

Thoroughly worried, he limped to Mrs. Hughes' sitting room and pushed the door cautiously open, almost afraid of what he would find. If Anna was ill enough that Mrs. Hughes would think it necessary to summon the doctor without sparing a few minutes to explain to him what exactly was wrong, it had to be bad.

His gaze shot immediately to the little sofa and armchair, but Anna was nowhere to be seen. During a brief lull in the buzz of activity in the corridor, he thought he heard a gasping sob and swivelled round in the direction of the sound: there, in the corner behind the hutch, crouched Anna, face bloodied, hair askew, clutching the torn remnants of her dress to her.

"Call Dr. Clarkson!" Bates turned and shouted at whoever was in the corridor behind him. Not even bothering to wait and see if his order was obeyed, he hurried to Anna and dropped to his knees beside her.

"No! Please!" Anna cried when he tried to put his arms around her, pushing him away feebly before crouching into a ball, hands trying desperately to hold her dress shut.

"Anna, it's me," Bates tried to soothe her. The more he tried to comfort her, the more terrified she became, until he backed away and tried to whisper soothing and encouraging things to her from across the room.

"Anna, it's okay, it's only me, I'm not going to hurt you," he called softly, though his mind was racing. Torn clothes, hair half-out of its bun, cuts on her face, begging him not to hurt her... together, they could only add up to one thing.

_Not Anna, please not her_, Bates begged a deity he no longer believed in, wanting to fling himself to the ground and join Anna in her sobbing.

"Mr. Bates!" Mrs. Hughes gasped, entering the room with Dr. Clarkson.

"What happened?" he growled, knowing but not wanting to believe it.

"Anna came down here alone during the concert," Mrs. Hughes answered, speaking to Dr. Clarkson as much as to him. "Someone must have been waiting down here, or followed her down..."

"She's been raped?" Dr. Clarkson asked, though it was more a statement than a question.

"Yes," Mrs. Hughes gulped, putting down the pile of things in her hands –towels, Bates vaguely registered, and what he assumed was a clean dress.

"See if you can calm her down," Clarkson said in an undertone to Mrs. Hughes. "If Mr. Bates or I approach her in this state, it'll only upset her more."

"Bates," Clarkson said as Mrs. Hughes went to Anna to try to soothe her, "you need to be calm and strong for Anna now."

"How can I be?" Bates almost spat. "Do you realise what some scum has just done to my wife?" After hearing Mrs. Hughes confirm it, he wanted to march through the Abbey beating the living daylights out of every man he saw until someone confessed, and then, once a confession had been beaten out of someone, tighten his hands round the animal's throat until his lips turned blue...

"Bates," Clarkson said sharply, breaking through the red mist of anger than had descended upon Bates. "I can give you something to calm you down if you need it, or I'll have to ask you to leave the room while I see to Anna –you can't upset her any further."

"I'm not letting Anna out of my sight again," Bates said, taking a deep breath. Over Clarkson's shoulder, he could see Mrs. Hughes leading Anna to one of the armchairs. She was still crying, but more softly.

"You know we have to inform His Lordship of this?" Clarkson asked Mrs. Hughes as he dug around in his medical bag.

"Yes, I do," Mrs. Hughes said reluctantly.

As Clarkson began gently to examine Anna, Bates stood next to the door, afraid to move closer but unable to turn away. Every inch of Anna that he could see seemed to be covered in bruises or bloody grazes. He was no ladies maid, but even he could see that Anna's dress, as Mrs. Hughes helped her out of it, had been ripped beyond repair.

"Mr. Bates, could you fetch me a long strip of cloth?" Clarkson asked in a determinedly matter-of-fact tone. "One of Anna's ribs may need binding."

"I'll go," Mrs. Hughes said, hurrying past Bates. As she swept past him, he could see tears in the normally stoic housekeeper's eyes.

"John?" Anna called, looking blindly around for him.

"I'm right here, love," he answered, moving towards her and holding her hand as Mrs. Hughes had been doing.

"Will she be alright?" he asked Clarkson.

"Physically, yes," Clarkson answered. Before Bates could press him for further elaboration, Mrs. Hughes came back in, a long strip of linen in one hand and a tumbler of whisky in another, which she gave to Anna to drink.

"I've told Mr. Carson to ask His Lordship to wait in the library," she said. "I've said it's urgent."

"That it is," Clarkson agreed.

"It's alright, Anna," Bates soothed, squeezing her hand gently as she started to shake. "It's going to be okay. Who did this?" he asked, turning to face Mrs. Hughes, who shook her head.

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Anna?" Bates turned tenderly to Anna. "Tell me, who did this to you?" She shook her head, but Bates would not be deterred. "Tell me," he pressed, shaking Clarkson off angrily when the doctor tried to intervene.

"I need to know," he snapped, regretting it instantly when he felt Anna flinch away from him.

"I'm not angry at you," he tried to reassure her. "You've done nothing wrong." How he regretted his earlier outburst!

"Mr..." Anna began haltingly, and even Clarkson stopped his ministrations to listen. "Mr. G –Green."

"The valet!" Bates growled, his animalistic tone surprising even him.

"Bates!" Clarkson said sharply. "Leave him for the police to deal with... right now, your wife needs you here."

With this blunt reminder, Bates turned back to Anna and her needs.

"Just one more cut that needs suturing," Clarkson said softly to Anna. Her hand gripped Bates' tightly as the needle dug through her flesh.

"It's okay," Bates whispered to her. "You're being so brave."

Finally, when Bates was afraid he was going to be sick with nerves, Clarkson put his needle down.

"That's all I can do from a medical standpoint," he said as Anna collapsed against Bates: rigid with fear but too weak and weary to pull away. "Would you like me to speak to His Lordship first?" he asked Mrs. Hughes.

"I think that might be best, while I help Anna wash and change into a fresh dress," Mrs. Hughes answered gratefully. Uncertain where they wanted him to go but not wanting to move from Anna's side, Bates helped her stand up, hoping to find little jobs to keep himself busy with in the same room as her.

"What –what will happen now?" Anna asked, and daggers shot through Bates' heart as he heard her voice, so small and scared.

"His Lordship might want to speak to you," Bates said "but it's alright, I'll be with you," he added quickly as he saw tears well up in Anna's fearful eyes.

"We both will," Mrs. Hughes added gently, helping Anna step out of the last remnants of her dress.

"Shall I fetch some hot water?" Bates offered. Mrs. Hughes gratefully accepted his offer, and while it hurt to walk out of the room, leaving Anna behind, he couldn't deny that it was a slight relief to be out of the little room with its atmosphere of pain and sadness –and immediately felt guilty for even thinking it. _None of this would have happened if you hadn't been too proud to walk downstairs with her._

As he waited for the kettle to boil, he was thankful that everyone else had already been shooed off to bed, aside from the valets and ladies maids, who were presumably upstairs with their principals –he couldn't have borne being surrounded by people who had no idea that his world had just taken such a beating.

"Mr. Bates?" Mr. Carson approached him cautiously. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes," Bates choked out, unable to keep control of himself. "Something is very wrong."

The older man paused, uncertain what could have reduced Mr. Bates to such a wreck of a man in the space of an hour.

"Anna's been... attacked," Bates said. "And it's all my fault, I let her come down here alone during the concert. I can never forgive myself for that."

"Is that why Dr. Clarkson is with His Lordship?" Carson asked. "And where is Anna now?" He was uncomfortable with displays of emotion, but reached out and patted Bates' shoulder awkwardly as the valet leaned on the kitchen counter, struggling to keep from crying.

"Mrs. Hughes called him to tend to Anna," Bates explained. "They're still in Mrs. Hughes' sitting room." The kettle whistled and Bates picked it up, eager to get back to Anna, while Carson settled down in the servants' hall to wait.

When he returned to Mrs. Hughes' room, he found that the housekeeper had helped Anna put her hair to rights and was applying salve to the bruises already forming on her face while they waited for him.

"May I stay?" Bates asked, suddenly realising that he didn't know if Anna was still upset at him over his earlier outburst –and after what she had just gone through, partly through his own stubbornness and reluctance to accompany her, he would understand perfectly if she didn't want him around. "I should have asked you before, Anna."

"Please stay," Anna nodded, and relief flooded through him at this obvious gesture of forgiveness.

Mrs. Hughes had only just finished helping Anna into a clean dress when Dr. Clarkson knocked lightly on the door before entering.

"Lord Grantham would like to speak to Mrs. Hughes and Anna," he informed them. "Lord Gillingham has also been summoned and heard my version of the story."

"Must she?" Bates asked. "Doctor, you can see she's in no fit state to –"

"I can do it," Anna interrupted in a shaky voice. "Only... could Mr. Bates come with us?" She reached out to him for support as she spoke, and the feel of her small hand on his was enough to move Bates to tears. How could she want him at her side, how could she even forgive him?

"I'm sure Lord Grantham will have no objection," Dr. Clarkson smiled.

The trio walked slowly towards the library where Lord Grantham and Lord Gillingham were waiting, Mrs. Hughes and Bates on either side of Anna. As they approached the door, Anna began to shake even more. "He –he won't be there, will he?" she asked, terrified. "No," Bates promised. He knew Lord Grantham would never be so insensitive, and he hoped Lord Gillingham wouldn't either. Not that it mattered –if Green _was_ in the room waiting for them, smirking, the animal had minutes left to live –no power on earth would be able to stop him launching himself at the vile creature, bad leg and cane be damned, and beating him till he begged for mercy.

* * *

_A/N: I've had this little story crying to be written since Season 4 aired –my modern brain just couldn't fathom a world where Anna felt she couldn't admit the attack to anyone, which is what makes this fic so AU. I hope you enjoy it –this will be a two-shot, maximum a three-shot, but definitely not a very long fic_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for all your reviews - they made my Christmas :p_

* * *

There were three figures seated in the library, that was all Anna could make out through her tear-blurred vision, and she immediately shrank back towards Mrs. Hughes, comforted by the housekeeper's hand on her arm. As one of the figures stood up and moved towards her, Anna froze: unable to keep walking but prevented from turning around by Mrs. Hughes and Bates... _why weren't they moving?_

As the shadowy figure approached her, arm extended, the quivering in her limbs increased and she found that she couldn't control her tears.

"Anna, it's alright," Bates said, at the same time that the figure said "Anna, it's only me." Relief flooded through her at the familiar sound of Lady Mary's voice, and as she waited for her vision to sharpen, she realised that Lady Mary's blurred outline was too slight to be Mr. Green's.

"Carson came to fetch me and Lord Gillingham after hearing Dr. Clarkson's story," Lady Mary explained as she reached out to draw the little group into the library. "He thought it might be easier for Anna to have me here too."

"Bates," Lord Grantham said, approaching them from the side of the room. "I am so, so sorry... but you do understand that we need Anna's version of events before we can proceed?"

"I understand milord," Bates nodded, although he was not happy about it. As he stepped sideways to speak to his Lordship, Lady Mary stepped into the space he left at Anna's side and led her further into the room, speaking gently to her as she did.

"W-what if they don't believe me?" he heard Anna ask, and the raw fear in her tone tore Bates' heart into slivers. Anna shouldn't have had to go through this, shouldn't be standing here terrified half-out of her wits. Although he understood Lord Grantham's position, he couldn't help thinking it was unnecessary. They had heard Dr. Clarkson's report on Anna's injuries, what more could they need to know? Not to mention Anna's bruised face and obvious distress, which in Bates' opinion explained the whole sorry story without any need for words.

"I believe you," Lady Mary said softly. She had been aghast at Dr. Clarkson's story, insisting with her father and Lord Gillingham that there was no need to hear Anna's version of events.

_"No woman would make such a story up," she had argued. "Papa, you heard Dr. Clarkson: Anna's injuries are consistent with the use of extreme force, what more can you need to hear?"_

_"I must be seen to be fair, Mary," her father had argued, while Lord Gillingham looked thoughtful. He was livid at his valet –if the accusation turned out to be true, and he wasn't yet certain of that._

_"Forgive me," he began. "But what difference do you expect Lady Mary's presence will make to this poor maid?" He understood that she might prefer another female to be present, but why specifically Lady Mary?_

_Mary's eyes, when they landed on him, were cold. "Anna is my ladies maid," she explained. "And her husband, Mr. Bates, is Papa's valet." This description of the close links between the Bateses and Lady Mary and Lord Grantham made Lord Gillingham groan inwardly. This was no village girl whose silence could be bought –always if she turned out to be telling the truth. Silently he cursed his valet –how dare he try something like this?_

"Just talk like you're only speaking to me," Lady Mary told Anna, rubbing her arm encouragingly. Even if she had been disinclined to believe Clarkson's explanation, one look at Anna: normally so calm, now so obviously distraught, would have been enough to convince her Anna was telling the truth. She led Anna to a seat and sat down next to her, making her allegiance clear: whatever her father and Lord Gillingham thought of the accusation, Mary was on Anna's side.

Anna breathed in as Lord Grantham sat down: she could smell Lady Mary's familiar perfume... if she closed her eyes, she could almost believe she was back in Lady Mary's room preparing her for bed, that tonight had never happened... almost. The pain radiating from all her cuts and bruises and the involuntary shaking of her body reminded her that there was no denying what had happened, that she would have to relive it.

"I left the hall during Dame Nellie's concert... I had a headache and went downstairs to get a powder for it," Anna began, taking deep breaths to keep her tears from interrupting her speech, although everyone there could see their presence. "Mr. Green came in while I was drinking it and offered me something stronger –he had a bottle of alcohol –and –and he said he looked like I needed some real fun –he wouldn't believe me when I told him I was happy with Mr. Bates –"

While Anna was speaking, Bates walked back towards her and stood beside her, fists clenched, hoping to transmit warmth and strength to her by his presence. He could see that Lady Mary was biting her lip as she listened and that Mrs. Hughes' face was turning ashen. Glancing at Lord Grantham and Lord Gillingham, whose faces, thankfully, wore matching expressions of sympathy, he felt, for a brief moment, a flash of envy: envy that it wasn't their wives who had just been through this assault. _They_ wouldn't have to live with its aftermath like a third person in their marital bed. The more he listened to Anna, the larger the knot of pain in his stomach became, although he knew that it must be nothing compared to what Anna was feeling.

"He pulled me by my hair into the boot room –" Bates had to suppress a gasp of horror as he realised the true cause of the chaos he had seen earlier in that room –"then he blocked the door and started pulling at –" here Anna broke off, shaking even harder, and Mrs. Hughes and Lady Mary reached out simultaneously to her.

"I think we've heard enough," Lord Grantham said, standing up with a grim expression on his face. "Bates, Mrs. Hughes," his tone was gentle, "please take Anna back downstairs and ask Carson to bring Green in here."

Lady Mary walked with them down to the servants' hall, stopping only to instruct Carson to summon Green to the library. "Tell Papa I'll be back upstairs in just a few minutes –but I have to make sure Anna's alright first."

When they reached the servants' hall, Mrs. Hughes turned to pour Anna another tumbler of whisky, unable to think of anything else which could calm Anna's involuntary shaking.

"They believe you," Lady Mary said, gently squeezing Anna's hand. "They can't not, not after hearing you and Clarkson."

"But who knows what story he'll give them?" Mrs. Hughes asked, handing Anna the glass and watching her lift it to her lips.

"He'll be lying," Lady Mary said. "Papa believed you, Anna, and that's what matters. I should go back upstairs now –but Anna, please don't worry. The worst is over." With that, she left, leaving a cloud of perfume trailing in her wake.

"May I hold you?" Bates asked Anna as he sat down next to her. She looked up at him, fear glimmering in her eyes, and paused as though making a mental assessment. "I won't hurt you," he added, saddened that he now had to say something which should have been obvious.

"It's only Mr. Bates, Anna, you're safe," Mrs. Hughes added from her seat on Anna's other side, and after a few more seconds of silence Anna nodded slowly, letting Bates put his arm around her shoulder, although she didn't rest her head against his chest as she so often did.

"Are you comfortable?" Bates asked.

"My rib hurts," she whispered. Immediately, Bates shifted closer to her so that she wouldn't have to stretch her injured side to rest against him.

"It will heal, my love," he said, tenderly dropping a kiss onto her head. Normally he'd be too embarrassed to even use a term of endearment in front of Mrs. Hughes –would never even dare –but tonight all the usual rules didn't apply. The only rule in place to him –and, he would bet, to Mrs. Hughes –was that Anna had to be made comfortable and comforted. When Mr. Carson appeared to call them back to the library, he found the little group still sitting huddled together: Bates holding Anna close to him, whispering words of comfort to her, while Mrs. Hughes sat on Anna's other side holding one of Anna's hands. Although Anna looked beyond exhausted, her eyes glittered, wary and alert.

"_I can't_," she had insisted when Bates suggested she close her eyes and try to rest.

* * *

"Green has been dismissed from Lord Gillingham's employ," Lord Grantham informed them as they stood before him. Although Bates had surmised as much from the subdued smile Lady Mary had given Anna as she stood to meet them, it was still a relief to hear it coming from His Lordship.

"It was blatantly obvious he was lying to save his skin," Lady Mary added. "But we do have one question: Anna, are you willing to press charges against him if we get the police involved? If you do, this whole household will be behind you."

Anna froze, completely unprepared for this –would she have to face him again in court if she did? –but Bates immediately stepped in.

"She will," he insisted, knowing that Lord Grantham wouldn't let him anywhere near Green now –his Lordship knew him too well –and so they would have to trust the law courts to mete out the justice he could not... although he clenched his fists in anger at the realisation that he could not exact justice himself wish a crushing blow to the neck.

"Then, with your agreement, I will have the police informed tomorrow," Lord Grantham said. At his side, Lord Gillingham didn't even move. "I think it's too late now, and Green isn't going anywhere. I've had Carson lock him in his room, and one of the hall boys will sleep outside it."

"Anna, don't wait around for me tonight," Lady Mary said. "Go home, get some rest, and don't come in early tomorrow –actually, don't come in at all. Mrs. Hughes can help me if I need it." She glanced at the housekeeper as she spoke, who immediately nodded her agreement.

"That I can," she confirmed.

Lord Grantham dismissed Bates too, saying he could get himself to bed alone for once. "Anna needs you," he told Bates when Bates protested.

"Are you sure you can walk to the cottage?" Mrs. Hughes asked as they left the library. "I'm sure we could find beds for you both for the night." She looked worriedly at Anna as she spoke: the younger woman looked ready to collapse, and no wonder, after all she'd endured in the past few hours.

"Thank you, but Anna needs to be at home, where she belongs," Bates answered for both of them. He knew that the beds Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson would find for them would inevitably be separate ones in the male and female quarters, and he couldn't bear to let Anna out of his sight or reach. He hoped the walk to the cottage wouldn't push her beyond the limits of her endurance, but he couldn't think what else to do.

"Mr. Carson and I will see to Lord Grantham and Lady Mary," Mrs. Hughes promised as Bates pulled on his hat and coat and helped Anna into hers.

"Take care of her," Mrs. Hughes said in an undertone to Bates as he and Anna set off on their ten minute walk.

"That poor girl," Mrs. Hughes said as she and Mr. Carson watched the couple walk into the distance, Bates half-carrying Anna in spite of his cane. Although Anna was now a thirty-four year old married woman, at that moment she was once again a frightened, vulnerable young girl to Mrs. Hughes.

"How will they live through this?" Carson wondered aloud.

"Mr. Bates will have to be strong for her," Mrs. Hughes said. "She'll need him now more than ever."

* * *

"How could this happen here, at Downton?" Lord Grantham asked Carson as he helped His Lordship out of his dinner clothes.

"I couldn't begin to imagine, milord," Carson said. "No one ever, in their worst nightmares, imagined something like this happening here –Mr. Bates and Mrs. Hughes didn't think it was anything other than perfectly safe for Anna to walk down to the kitchen alone."

"It _should_ have been perfectly safe," Lord Grantham said. He had given Lord Gillingham quite a lecture on selecting his servants carefully, and to his credit, Lord Gillingham seemed thoroughly guilt-ridden over his valet's actions, immediately agreeing that Green should be dismissed and prosecuted.

* * *

"Are you alright?" Bates asked Anna as he unlocked the cottage door. "Do you need anything?" He had no idea what to get Anna, what to say or what to do to help her.

"Do you –do you think I could have a bath?" Anna asked. "I feel so dirty."

"You are _not_," Bates promised her. "But sit down and rest while I get some hot water going for you." Guiding her to their little sofa, he waited for her to sit down before hurrying off to boil a kettle of water.

"I'll be waiting right outside," he promised once the bath had been filled and Anna's nightgown warmed. "If you need anything, just call." Much as he wanted to stay, he was afraid having him in the room while she bathed would be too reminiscent of the attack, so he contented himself with pacing up and down outside the door.

When Anna stepped out of the bathroom, he could immediately tell she had been crying again.

"Come here, love," Bates called, his own voice husky with tears, holding his arms out to her. Slowly, cautiously, Anna moved towards him and nestled within his arms. Within minutes, Bates could feel a damp patch on his shirt.

"It's alright to cry," he soothed as he rubbed Anna's back, feeling her choke back sobs. "Let them out." She cried wholeheartedly for a full fifteen minutes, then, totally spent, drew back from him.

"How can you bear to even touch me?" she asked in a voice devoid of any emotion. "I've become spoiled for you, tainted... I should repulse you."

"Never," Bates replied firmly, pulling her closer towards him. "You are more precious to me now because of what you've endured, not less. I love you _more_ now than I did this morning, Anna... you could never repulse me, no matter what."

"Would you prefer to sleep alone tonight?" he asked, realising that it was getting late and Anna, at least, needed to sleep.

"No! Please don't leave me," Anna answered instantly, suddenly afraid of being alone.

"I won't, not if you don't want me to," Bates promised. "I'll hold you all night long, every night, if that's what it takes for you to feel safe enough to sleep."


	3. Chapter 3

_I know I said this would probably be a two-shot, but I felt there was another chapter of this story which needed to be told_

* * *

As soon as they reached the bedroom, Anna following John like a shadow, she collapsed onto the bed, too exhausted and overwhelmed to do anything else.

"Try and sleep, love," John urged as he watched her fight to keep her eyelids open.

"You'll stay here?" she asked.

"I promise," he smiled. Truth be told, he didn't want to leave Anna's side just as much as she didn't want him to. He changed hurriedly into a nightshirt and went through as much of his nighttime preparation as he could in the bedroom –anything he couldn't manage he would just have to make do without: there was no way he was leaving Anna alone, not even for a minute.

By the time he joined her in bed, Anna had given up trying to stay awake and was huddled into a ball on her side of the bed. She stiffened as the bed sagged under Bates' weight and he felt a stab of pain through his heart as he realised how sudden and profound the changes in Anna were.

"Would you rather I slept in the spare room?" he asked again, praying she wouldn't ask him to: if she wanted to sleep in the room alone, he would rather sleep outside the door, guarding her from whatever shadowy demons she now imagined lurking.

The sound of his voice was enough to make her relax slightly, and her eyes flew open in terror as soon as her tired mind registered what he was asking.

"No!"

As John lay down next to her, she uncurled herself enough to look at him, took his hand and went back to huddling in a ball, taking his right hand with her. Careful not to dislodge her, John tried to settle himself as comfortably as possible. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep, but he didn't intend to move an inch away from the bed. One look at Anna, so scared and vulnerable, was enough to bring him to tears –and cry he did, not even moving his hand to wipe his tears away. He lay there, both seething and torn up inside, watching Anna try to sleep with her eyes scrunched up and feeling the shudders that ran through her body occasionally.

"I can't sleep," Anna said in a small voice. John didn't know what time it was –they could have been lying there for minutes or hours for all he cared.

"Tell you what," he suggested, trying to keep his voice gentle, "would it be easier if you leaned against me, your back against my chest, and I held on to you?"

Without a word, she moved closer to him, settling against him as he had suggested, her face resting against his neck as strands of blonde hair tickled his chin and brushed against his nose.

"Why?" she asked after a few seconds of silence. John didn't pretend to have misunderstood her.

"Because you are beautiful," he began, tentatively stroking her hair. "And because he's a vile coward who gets off on power."

"Was it… because I was friendly to him earlier?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"No," he promised. "That had nothing to do with it, I'm positive."

There was no reply from Anna –leaning over, John saw that her eyes had closed again, and as he waited, her breathing became slower and more even. With Anna resting trustfully against him, he was free to do what he did best: brood.

All he could think of was the moment Anna had told him she had a headache and was going downstairs to get something for it. What had she said exactly? Had he even answered, or had he ignored her, still intent on proving his point? He should have offered to go down with her… hadn't he known that? The more he thought about that evening, the more confused he became. _Had_ he offered to go down with her only for her to refuse the offer, or had he just grunted acknowledgement? Had Green been eavesdropping on their conversation –what a stroke of luck he must have thought it for Anna's husband to send her down to the kitchens alone… what kind of husband did that? Why hadn't Mrs. Hughes insisted he go down with his wife? They could have used the time alone to clear the air between them, and if Green had followed them down, even he wouldn't have dared do anything when faced with both of them. Cripple he may be, but he still had all his pub-brawling skills, and he wouldn't have hesitated to throw himself at Green, cane and gammy knee be damned, if he suspected a threat to Anna.

_But you didn't suspect the threat,_ a little voice deep inside him taunted_. You sent her down, already ill, alone, a sitting duck for Green. What good were all your brawling skills to her? You were sitting listening to music while she was being brutalised a few corridors away. _

As he relived his failings over and over again –should he have stood up and followed Green out when he left the Hall? Should he have gone down to look for her? –he felt a sudden urge to shake Anna awake and apologise. He felt sick when he thought of how Anna had sought him out and clung to him, afraid to sleep without him. After a betrayal like that, she _still_ trusted him to keep her safe.

Suddenly, Anna's sleeping form went stiff and she began to whimper, the whimpers rising in pitch to cries. Her eyes flew open, and as John tried to hold her close, she thrashed about in his arms, starting to scream the more he held her, until he let go and tried to wake her by calling her name.

"No! Please!"

"Anna!" The shriller and more pleading Anna's cries became, the more desperate John became. What if he couldn't rouse her from this terror?

Her hands began to claw the air and her own arms, fighting off an imaginary aggressor, until John grabbed her wrists and held them, unable to watch her hurt herself. Gradually, the cries lessened to sobs, her heartbeat began to slow down and the blind terror faded from her eyes, giving way to fearful confusion.

"You had a nightmare," John told her gently as his eyes met hers.

"It felt real," Anna said, looking down at the welts she had raised on her own arms. Without a word, she threw back the covers and hurried down the stairs. Thoroughly confused, John followed her downstairs and found her in their little scullery, retching over a bucket.

"I can't go back in there," she managed to gasp once the nausea had passed.

"Where? Downton? Our bedroom?"

"Our room," she explained.

"Then we'll stay downstairs," John said, immediately going along with her wishes. Over Anna's shoulder, he sneaked a glance at the clock –only two hours before he had to leave for work… would Anna be all right to be left alone?

"Anna," he began hesitantly once they were curled up together on the sofa. "Is this because I said we would press charges? We won't have to, not if you don't want to… I was wrong to say we would, it's your call."

"What difference will it make? He might not go to prison, and even if he does, it won't change what's already happened."

* * *

At half past five, their usual time to get up, Bates stood up, casting an anxious glance at Anna. She had been quiet for almost the full two hours, but she was by no means asleep.

"I'm coming with you," she said decidedly.

"Lady Mary said you didn't have to," he reminded her.

"I can't be here all alone," she said, moving stiffly off the sofa: her muscles had stiffened and it felt like bruises had started to bloom under her nightgown. "Don't leave me here alone, _please_?"

"Anna, he won't come bursting in here," he tried to reason with her.

"I can't stay here alone," she repeated, until he gave in… who was he to make her spend the day alone when she was so obviously afraid? Privately he hoped Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson would take one look at her and send her straight back home.

"Anna, whatever are you doing here?" Mrs. Hughes asked as the couple stepped into the –thankfully empty –servants' hall.

"Too afraid to stay alone," Bates explained, gently helping Anna off with her coat.

"That's understandable," Mrs. Hughes said. "Come with me," she said softly, reaching out to Anna. Bates reluctantly watched her walk away, trying to remember that Mrs. Hughes had Anna's best interests at heart.

"Mr. Bates?" Carson, looking sombre, walked in through the doorway Anna and Mrs. Hughes had just walked through. "How is Anna?"

"Not at all well," Bates admitted.

"I am so sorry," Carson began, obviously uncomfortable.

"So am I, Mr. Carson," Bates said, in no mood to listen to platitudes.

"Anna's spending the day in my room," Mrs. Hughes said when she returned to find the two men sitting in mournful silence. "How are you both?"

"I'm holding up," Bates lied. "Anna… well… as you saw, she doesn't seem to be doing too well."

"Which is why she's spending the day in my sitting room," Mrs. Hughes said decidedly. "There's always someone within calling distance, and at least she won't be alone. That might make it easier for her to rest."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes," Bates said gratefully. What he and Anna would have done without her support he had no idea.

"Don't thank me, Mr. Bates," Mrs. Hughes said. "Considering what happened to Anna under this roof, this is the least we can do."

"Is…he… still here?" Bates couldn't even bring himself to say that animal's name.

"Lord Grantham plans to call the police in after breakfast," Mr. Carson said. "That is… if you still wish to press charges?"

"I don't know," Bates said honestly. "I was wrong to say we would… it should be Anna's decision."

"Why don't you go in and speak to her in my sitting room once she's rested a bit?" Mrs. Hughes suggested.

"I will," Bates said, though he privately agreed with Anna: what difference would it make? Even if the courts found Green guilty, it wouldn't alter the fact that Anna had been irrevocably changed. It wouldn't erase the attack, or help Anna put it behind her… if anything, testifying would keep it in the forefront of her mind. Hadn't Green already scarred her enough? No, the priority had to be Anna's wellbeing. Whatever she wanted, that was what they would do.


End file.
